I have chosen to speak to my kids in Chinese, which I can only describe as the biggest challenge and adventure I have embarked on.
I grew up in a multilingual and multicultural household. Now I am trying to replicate that, but with my own tweaks. I feel like I fell into a situation where I had to adapt, my parents fell in love and chose to live in a country where there were already multiple languages and they spoke to us in different languages at home. In comparison, my kids are being put into a more structured and supported environment to learn that language.
It’s been almost 4 years since I have embarked on this journey, and we are seeing the fruits of our labour, which has been so rewarding.
Below are 5 general rules that have helped me:
- As parents, we make sure to stick to one language. This means that even in a group situation (for example at the dinner table) we keep to one language. Once that one-to-one relationship is established, it also becomes habit and comfort you can rely on in the future. I think it might actually be one of the reasons I continue to speak Chinese to my kids. It would almost feel weird to change. At a certain stage, your child will start mixing languages and code switch. This is good and expected, since they don’t understand the distinction yet. Don’t worry, with time they will figure it out. On another note, I have come across times where I catch myself code switching to adapt or to speed up a conversation. But I try my hardest to now ignore that and keep the one-to-one interaction in Chinese. I expect this to get harder as our kids learn to communicate better, since the conversations will become more complex. But for now, I try my best to stick to the one language. The repetition will create consistency and lead to reliability.
- Any type of outside influence that is consistent helps. Whether it be a babysitter, grandparents, family or school, it will create a natural source of Chinese that is not routine. This outside support is another angle and source for everyone to learn from. We had an academic environment on a weekly basis, growing up. This provided an educational angle that I did not receive at home. Additionally I was in the presence of many kids that were in the same situation as me. We are not at an age where our kids need to go yet, so I will keep you posted on that progress as well. However, I did experience that as a child, by going to Chinese school one day a week, and even though there were difficult times (mostly during my adolescence where my interest dwindled) a part of that formal education stuck.
- Many factors come into play when learning a language and maintaining a certain level. Language does not progress in a linear manner. Just like us, our children may get better at one language at some point and then may grow faster in the other language. This is a natural progression, where one might have more interests that happen to be in one language for some time. This might then shift towards the other language. The key is adapting. If you see that one language is being favored by the other, adjust that. Make sure to create more opportunities to interact with your the minority language. For instance, when I had my second child I had to spend a lot more time with him postpartum that I did with my eldest. In turn, his English (which is what he speaks to his father) became better than his Mandarin. I did get a bit worried that my lack of involvement was starting to show. But I focused on reading to him more and more books before bed. And sooner than later, I felt like we were back in our world of progression. Kids are just so resilient and smart.
- Language learning does not follow a linear path. I have learned that there are moments where progress is not as obvious. But that does not mean that it is not there.. Give it a little time. Your kids may surprise you, or you may surprise yourself too. There are many a times, where words or sentences that I have used a while back (say a few weeks), suddenly pop into conversation. These moments make me so happy and make me realize my work is being registered and thought about too.
- This is my favorite tip. Make memories. Create themes, moments, day trips, take pictures and re-visit them together, read books that you can enjoy together… These are all opportunities to learn about a certain subject and this can range from a 5-10min activity, like tying shoe laces, to a day at the zoo, or even a vacation. And on a more relaxing day, I will watch kids TV shows or movies with them and we can talk about them too. To me, it is about the routine repetition of certain terms that can be revisited through conversation or pictures, that helps you remember.
